“The Arabic script of the wings (in mirror image of each other) reads: “Ya Hazrati Inayat”, with ya meaning “O” (an invocation, an invitation), and hazrati meaning “presence; a respectful title similar to your majesty”. It may also be interesting to note that the word ‘Inayat means “guarding, preserving, taking care of; concern, care; a gift, a present”.
The Arabic script of the heart reads: “qaddasa Allahu sirrahu”, which is a traditional phrase used when mentioning the name of a deceased Sufi saint. The word qaddas means: “sanctify, hallow, glorify, venerate, revere”. The word sirr means: “secret, mystery, something concealed; secret thought, innermost thought”, or, as the masterful lexicon of E. W. Lane says, “private knowledge; something inserted in the interior; a pleasure, or delight, and dilation of the heart, of which there is no external sign”. The Sufis often use the word sirr to describe the divine wonder discovered in the depths of the un-veiled heart.
The phrase exoterically means “may Allah sanctify his secret” or esoterically “may his message spread”, or “whose inner thought Allah made holy”, or “whose heart Allah has made pure”.
The shape of the tughra symbolises that the heart desires heaven. The crescent in the heart suggests the responsiveness and potential of the heart. The crescent represents the responsiveness of the crescent moon to the light of the sun, for naturally it receives the light and develops into a full moon. The explanation of the five-pointed star is that it represents the divine light. For when the light comes, it has five points. It is the divine light which is represented by the five-pointed star, and the star is reflected in the heart which is responsive to the divine light. The heart which by its response has received the divine light is liberated, as the wings show. In brief, the meaning of the symbol is that the heart responsive to the light of God is liberated.” ~ wiki
“O, Divine Presence! Your name is safe here.”
~ Mardi Shakti ~
Ecstasy finds you.
*~ In sufi circles they say:
“There’s prayer, and a step up from that is meditation, and a step up from that is sohbet, or conversation.”
Who is talking to HU! (The pronoun for divine presence.) Lover to beloved, teacher to disciple.
The Friendship of Rumi and Shams became a continuous conversation, in silence and words, presence talking to absence, existence to non-existence, periphery to center.
Rumi’s poetry may be heard as eavesdropping on that exchange.” ~* Coleman Barks http://www.sourcetext.com/hupage/Rumi/rumi0.html
OUT OF A GREAT NEED – HAFIZ
“Out of a great need
We are all holding hands and climbing
Not loving is a letting go
The terrain around here
Is far too dangerous for that.”
There are many people with their eyes open
whose hearts are shut. What do they see?
But someone whose love is alert,
even if the eyes go to sleep,
he or she will be waking up thousands of others.
If you are not one of those light-filled lovers,
restrain your desire-body’s intensity.
Put limits on how much you eat
and how long you lie down.
But if you are awake here in the chest,
sleep long and soundly.
Your spirit will be out roaming and working,
even on the seventh level.
Muhammad says, I close my eyes and rest in sleep,
but my love never needs rest.
*~ Rumi ~*
“Ordinary love is selfish, darkly rooted in desires and satisfactions.
Divine love is without condition, without boundary, without change.
The flux of the human heart is gone forever at the transfixing touch of pure love”.
~ Swami Sri Yukteswar
Make no mistake; until the human heart is torn asunder, it cannot know Divine Love.
The Flame That Never Dies.
Recognised, or not, by others, or the self.
“Unconditional Love” is an elusive term, and often misunderstood… it simply means PURE.
…until tainted by humanimal behaviour stemming from the disconnection of Universal Consciousness, and living out of alignment…
Whole Things are hurt by the shattered.
Pieces grasping for pieces.
Or trying to cut a piece from the Whole.
The pain of formless form… (“without boundary”)
What so happens to All, happens to The One Heart.
…but no one can teach you about the Pure Heart; it’s an initiation.
Although the teachings are there, if you so happen to become initiated.
~ Mardi Shakti ~
Q: WHEN I FEEL DEEP LOVE I FEEL SAD AT THE SAME TIME. WHY?
Osho: Real love always brings sadness. It is inevitable – because love creates a space which opens new doors to your being. Love brings a twilight situation.
In the moment of love you can see what is unreal and what is real. In the moment of love you can see what is meaningless, what is meaningful, and at the same time you see you are rooted in the meaningless – hence sadness. In the moment of love you become aware of your ultimate potential, you become aware of the farthest peak, but you are not there – hence sadness.
You see a vision but it is a vision, and within a moment it will be gone. It is as if God has spoken to you in a dream and when you are awake you miss it. You know something has happened but it has not become a reality. It was just a passing breeze.
If love does not create sadness then know well it is not love. Love is bound to create sadness – the greater the love, the greater will be the sadness in the wake of it.
Love opens the door to God. Two hearts come close, very, very close, but in that very closeness they can see the separation – that is the sadness. When you are far away you cannot see it so clearly. You know you are separate but when you desire to be one with somebody and you long for it and there is great passion for it and you come close and you come close and then comes a moment when you are very, very close but beyond which you cannot go, you are stuck – suddenly you become sad. The goal is so close by and yet it is beyond reach.
Sometimes after love you will fall into a deep frustrating night. Those who have not known love have not known the real misery, they have not known the real anguish. They live a flat kind of life.
They have not known the peaks so they are not aware of the valleys. They have not reached to the maximum so they think that whatsoever they are doing is what life is supposed to be like. In love for a moment you become that which you should be. But it is only momentary.
If you want it to become an eternal reality for you then love itself is not enough – then prayer will be needed. Love makes you aware of this need – and unless you start moving in prayer, love will create more and more sadness.
You cannot become one in love. You can only have an illusion of becoming one. And that is the great desire – how to be one, how to be one with the whole, how to fall in rapport with reality, how to disappear utterly. Because if you are, there is misery; if you are, there is anguish; if you are, there is anxiety. The very ego creates the problem. When you melt and disappear, when you become one, there is nobody left behind. You are just a wave in this eternal ocean of existence. You don’t have a centre of your own; the centre of the whole has become your centre. Then anxiety disappears, then anguish disappears, then the potential has become actual. This is what is called enlightenment, this is what is called nirvana or God-realisation.
Love is moving in the same direction, but it can only promise, it cannot fulfil. It cannot deliver the goods – hence the sadness. You feel you are coming very close to the point where you can disappear and yet you don’t disappear. Again you start falling away from your beloved. Again and again you will come close and again and again you will fall back into your aloneness. But you will never become one. And unless you become one, ecstasy is not possible.
In the moment of love there is great hope. You have arrived – and yet you never arrive. You feel it is almost going to happen – now this is the moment – and the moment comes and passes by and you are left again in the same wasteland as you have always been in. The clouds gather and it never rains and the desert remains a desert. If those clouds don’t gather you will not be so hopeful. You know it is a desert. You accept it. You adjust to it. But one day suddenly you see great clouds gathering, you feel it in the winds that it is going to rain you feel it all around that it is going to rain, your heart starts pulsating that now this desert will no more be a desert, now green trees will grow and birds will sing and there will be celebration…. And those clouds start disappearing.
Have you not seen it? Some day, walking in a dark night on a dark street, suddenly a car passes by with a flood of light. And after the car has gone the darkness is more than before. What happened?
You were walking in the same night in the same darkness, but those lights, those headlights of the car, suddenly filled your eyes with light for a moment. Now in comparison the darkness is more. For a few minutes you may not be able to see at all. You will be left completely blind. This has been done by the light.
Exactly the same is the situation… when you are in love you are flooded with light. But then it is gone – it comes and it goes, it is momentary. And in the wake is great sadness.
Berdyaev says: ‘Love in particular seemed to me to carry within itself the seed of anguish and I have frequently been amazed that people could experience the exaltation of love as sheer joy and happiness. Eros is in anguish for it is concerned with and deeply rooted in the mystery of time and eternity. It concerns time athirst for eternal fulfilment and yet never attaining it.
‘Likewise there is anguish in sex. Sex shows man wounded, fallen apart, and never able to attain true fullness through union. It bids man to go out to another but he returns once more into himself and the anguish of his longing for unity continues unrelieved The desire for wholeness cannot be satisfied through sex; on the contrary, it only serves to deepen the wounds of disunity.’
The very word ‘sex’ comes from a Latin root ‘sexus’ which means division. Sex divides. It promises to unite but it never does. In fact, it divides. But there is a great desire in man to be united. The child in the mother’s womb is united with existence. He has no separate existence. He has no separate reality. He is part of the whole. He has no self, no higher consciousness. He is, but he is not yet an ego. And that remains our deepest longing – how to enter into the womb of existence again.
While two join in love they are trying to create a unity – hence the attraction of love and hence the appeal of sex. But it never happens. Or, it happens for such a split second only that it doesn’t matter really whether it happens or not. In fact, on the contrary, it creates more desire for unity – more desire and more longing for the ultimate union. And each time frustration comes to hand. If you have eyes to see and if you have a heart to feel you will become sad; whenever you are in love you will become sad. Again the promise and again you know it is not going to be fulfilled.
So sex functions like alcohol, a natural alcohol. It is provided in the chemistry of the body but it is an intoxicant, it is a drug. It depends on chemistry. It is as chemical as LSD, marijuana – the difference is only that it is bio-chemical, it is already provided by nature in the body. But it is a chemical phenomenon. Through chemistry you attain a glimpse. That’s what happens when you take LSD – through chemistry you attain a glimpse. That’s what happens through all kinds of intoxicants – for a moment you forget yourself. Even that momentary forgetfulness opens a window.
But forgetfulness is not a dissolution. You are not dissolved. You are there, waiting. Once the drug has worn off, the ego will grab you again. The ego has to be dissolved, not forgotten. That’s the sadness of love: the ego is only forgotten and that too for a moment. Then it comes back. And comes back with vengeance. Hence you will find lovers fighting continuously. The ego becomes even more solid, crystallised.
And that’s why you find lovers always thinking in terms of the other cheating them. Nobody is cheating. But you desired, you hoped, you fantasised a state of unity, and you were thinking that great ecstasy was going to happen and it didn’t happen – somebody has cheated you. Of course, naturally, the other becomes the object. And the other also thinks in the same way – that you have cheated him or her. Nobody is cheating. Love has cheated you both. Chemistry has cheated you both. Unconsciousness has cheated you both. Ego has cheated you both. If you understand you will not fight with each other.
That’s all that Sufism is about – how to dissolve the ego.
A few things more…. The sadness that love brings is very potential, it is very deep, it is very healthy, it is helpful. It will lead you to God. So don’t take it negatively, use it. It is a great blessing, that sadness felt in love. It simply shows that your aspiration is beyond the capacity of love, your aspiration is for the ultimate. Love can only give you a momentary satisfaction but not an eternal contentment. Feel grateful that love gave you that one momentary satisfaction and feel grateful that love made you aware of a tremendous sadness inside you.
When people are together in love they feel very alone. Nobody else ever feels such aloneness as lovers feel. Can’t you remember it? While sitting holding the hand of your beloved on a full moon night, have you not felt it? – utterly alone. The other is there, you are there and you both are for each other, there is no conflict – yet there is no bridge. You are alone, she is alone… two alonenesses sitting together. And each making the other more aware of his own aloneness or her own aloneness.
Love is a great experience. It makes you feel one absolute truth – that you are born alone, that you live alone, that you die alone. And there is no way to drown this aloneness in drugs – whether those drugs are manufactured by nature in the trees or by factories or in the body. There is no way to drown this aloneness. One has to understand this aloneness, one has to penetrate this aloneness, one has to go into its very core. And when you have reached into the very core of your aloneness, suddenly- it is no longer aloneness, it is the very presence of God. You are alone because God is alone.
[I have edited Osho’s rant; read it in full, here: http://oshosearch.net/…/Osho-Sufis-The-People-of-the…]
Tantra is the answer; Tantra is Yoga, Yoga is union.
Tantra includes Creatrix…
Tantra dissolves the ego…
Neo-tantra just fetishizes it.
“…Let’s adore one another before there is no more of you and me.”
*~ Rumi ~*
My Sweet Crushed Angel ~ Hafiz
You have not danced so badly, my dear,
Trying to hold hands with the Beautiful One.
You have waltzed with great style,
My sweet, crushed angel,
To have ever neared God’s heart at all.
Our Partner is notoriously difficult to follow,
And even His best musicians are not always easy
So what if the music has stopped for a while.
If the price of admission to the Divine
Is out of reach tonight.
So what, my dear,
If you do not have the ante to gamble for
The mind and the body are famous
For holding the heart ransom,
But Hafiz knows the Beloved’s eternal habits.
For he will not be able to resist your longing
You have not danced so badly, my dear,
Trying to kiss the Beautiful One.
You have actually waltzed with tremendous style, O my sweet, O my sweet, crushed angel.
“If the Beautiful One is not inside you, then what is that Light hidden under your cloak?”
*~ Rumi ~*
“Many different perfumes carried by a breeze.”
We bear within us many past lives, each one complete, autonomous, and emitting its own subtle, special fragrance. There are points along the journey when we must stand together with the whole line-up of our previous selves and follow out the journey they were all leading to. This is a formidable task. There is a lot to live up to. It grants you authority and conviction and it makes it very hard to get started. In order to get anywhere you must at times deny the awareness that everybody is there, and do whatever you can do, apparently on your own. But truly the depth of experience, the substantive inward development and the power of your inner drive give it away – you are destiny-charged in a larger-than-life fashion. Being self-possessed is your watchword. There is so much to accomplish. And at the center of the journey lies self-knowledge and the overriding determination to clear the karmic slate, to free up what has been trapped and bound and to come to yourself afresh. This destiny-will is guided, cosmically supported, centrally relevant to your whole world, and you will do it. Turn the darkest of hours into the brightest breakthroughs by refusing to stop anywhere or to back down from your resolve to wake up this time and get on with the greater path, at long last.
~ Ellias Lonsdale
People have a *lot* to learn about Real Love.
Shopping for relationships is not how that works, but that’s something that can take lifetimes to figure out…
“For the sake of simplicity, I have found the “four-layers of the heart” model to be an extremely useful and timeless spiritual perspective on all aspects of my life, especially for understanding relationships. Put simply, the four layers of the heart are as follows:
Layer 1: the uppermost layer of the heart, or the ego self. Layer 1 is where the ego is rooted in the heart; it is the emotional underpinnings of the ego. We all need a healthy ego to function in the world but the downside comes from the ego needing to be in control, to dominate, criticize, put itself first, to grasp and horde. The Sufi word for the lower tendencies of the ego is “the nafs”. The ego uses emotions from the surface layer of the heart—such as anger, jealousy, fear—to fuel and justify its limited and separative view of itself and the world.The ego also has a higher side—the rational mind with its capacity for logic and objectivity. The rational mind can hold and reflect a certain degree of spiritual light, according to the Sufis, if it is connected to the deeper layers of the heart.
Layer 2: the inner heart. In Arabic, the word for heart is “qalb” which means “that which turns”. This definition is profound because the heart does seem to turn. Sometimes it feels open and full, other times it feels contracted and empty—oftentimes for no reason we can identify. Sometimes the heart faces the world and is overly influenced by externals that disturb it; other times the heart faces the Source within and finds itself at peace despite whatever is happening on the outside.In Layer 2, the heart begins to free itself from the demands of the grasping ego. It is in Layer 2 that the expansive feelings of unconditional love, joy, compassion, awe, prayerfulness, gratitude, the appreciation of beauty, serenity and contentment are experienced. Greater sensitivity and the ability to attune to subtle shifts in feeling, atmosphere, mood (your’s or others’) come in at this layer.
Layer 3: the soul. This layer is less personal than Layer 2 and even further removed from an ego-based perspective. Sufis teach that it is in the soul where our spiritual jewels or divine qualities reside in seed form. The divine qualities are the archetypes that find expression in the world in manifold ways. Expressions of power, love, wisdom, justice and patience are examples of the divine qualities made manifest, although usually they are distorted by the personal heart and the ego. There is a deep stillness and profound silence to be experienced in the depths of Layer 3 that contrasts with the waves of emotion closer to the surface in Layer 2 of the heart.
Layer 4: the secret. What is the secret? According to the Sufis, it is the truth of our oneness or unity with the Divine. It is difficult to use words to describe this experience. At Layer 4, the bubble of the separate self dissolves and transforms into the Ocean. All definitions of ourselves—“I am this”, “I am that”—are experienced as temporary illusions that veil us from the reality of our true Self.Each layer of the heart has a corresponding inner “voice” that whispers advice in our ear and urges us to take certain actions based on its own perspective. Sufi learn to discriminate between these voices, to distinguish between the voice of the “nafs”, for instance, and the voice of the deep heart.” ~ Joe Disabatino
Most live and act from here; relationship dramas, never touching the deeper place…
“Layer 1: the uppermost layer of the heart, or the ego self.
I Know The Way You Can Get
I know the way you can get
When you have not had a drink of Love:
Your face hardens,
Your sweet muscles cramp.
Children become concerned
About a strange look that appears in your eyes
Which even begins to worry your own mirror
Squirrels and birds sense your sadness
And call an important conference in a tall tree.
They decide which secret code to chant
To help your mind and soul.
Even angels fear that brand of madness
That arrays itself against the world
And throws sharp stones and spears into
And into one’s self.
O I know the way you can get
If you have not been drinking Love:
You might rip apart
Every sentence your friends and teachers say,
Looking for hidden clauses.
You might weigh every word on a scale
Like a dead fish.
You might pull out a ruler to measure
From every angle in your darkness
The beautiful dimensions of a heart you once
I know the way you can get
If you have not had a drink from Love’s
That is why all the Great Ones speak of
The vital need
To keep remembering God,
So you will come to know and see Him
As being so Playful
Just Wanting to help.
That is why Hafiz says:
Bring your cup near me.
For all I care about
Is quenching your thirst for freedom!
All a Sane man can ever care about
Is giving Love!
Of course; it’s so simple: The Heart of the world is CLOSED.
“Also, evil and darkness prevail to a large extent and people are cut off from Source/God/Highest Truth. The heart is closed and there is no place for love or light to come in. This is what third dimensional reality is all about. That explains all the violence, war, racism, suppression, disease, unrest (at individual and global levels) and everything negative that happened in Earth’s history and continues to happen around the globe even today. Living at a higher dimension opens the heart and allows light into the world, thereby transmuting the prevalent darkness into light.”
UNLESS THE WORLD KICKS YOU IN YOUR HEART AND IT DIES
– and then you’re trapped here, on earth, until *you* die.
“Jung’s conception of the psyche is of a system which is dynamic, in constant movement, and at the same time self-regulating; he calls the general psychic energy, libido. The concept of libido must not be thought of as implying a force as such, any more than does the concept of energy in physics; it is simply a convenient way of describing the observed phenomena.
The libido flows between two opposing poles — an analogy might be drawn here with the diastole and systole of the heart, or a comparison made between the positive and negative poles of an electric circuit. Jung usually refers to the opposing poles as ‘the opposites’. The greater the tension between the pairs of opposites the greater the energy; without opposition there is no manifest energy. Many opposites at varying levels can be enumerated; for instance, progression, the forward movement of energy, and regression, the backward, consciousness and unconsciousness, extroversion and introversion, thinking and feeling, &c. The opposites have a regulating function (as Heraclitus discovered many hundred years ago), and when one extreme is reached libido passes over into its opposite.
A simple example of this is to be found in the way that an attitude carried to one extreme will gradually change into something quite different: violent rage is succeeded by calm, and hatred not infrequently turns in the end to liking. To Jung the regulatory function of the opposites is inherent in human nature and essential to an understanding of psychic functioning.
The natural movement of the libido is forwards and backwards — one could almost think of it as the movement of the tides. Jung calls the forward movement which satisfies the demands of the conscious, progression, the backward movement, satisfying the demands of the unconscious, regression. Progression is concerned with the active adaptation to one’s environment, and regression with the adaptation to one’s inner needs. Regression therefore (contrary to some points of view) is just as normal a counterpole to progression as sleeping is to waking, so long as the libido is functioning in an unhindered manner, i.e. according to the law of enantiodromia, when it must eventually turn over into a progressive movement.
Regression may mean, among other things, a return to a dream-state after a period of concentrated and directed mental activity, or it may mean a return to an earlier stage of development; but these are not necessarily ‘wrong’, rather can they be looked on as restorative phases ‘reculer pour mieux sauter’.
If there is an attempt to force the libido into a rigid channel, or repression has created a barrier, or for one reason or another, the conscious adjustment has failed (perhaps because outer circumstances became too difficult), the natural, forward movement becomes impossible.
The libido then flows back into the unconscious, which will eventually become over-charged with energy seeking to find some outlet. Perhaps the unconscious will then leak through into consciousness as fantasy, or as some neurotic symptom, perhaps it will manifest itself in infantile or even animal behavior.
It may even overwhelm consciousness so that there is a violent outburst, or a psychosis develops; when this happens it is as if a dam had burst, and all the land was flooded. In extreme cases, where there is a complete failure of the libido to find an outlet, there is a withdrawal from life, as in some psychotic states; this is a pathological regression, and is unlike normal regression, which is a necessity of life.
A man is not a machine who can continually and steadily adapt himself to his environment; he must also be in harmony with himself, i.e. adapt to his own inner world. Conversely, he can only adapt to his inner world and achieve harmony with himself when he is adapted to the environmental conditions.”
~ Frieda Fordham
“We don’t commit now. We don’t see the point. They’ve always said there are so many fish in the sea, but never before has that sea of fish been right at our fingertips on OkCupid, Tinder, Grindr, Dattch, take your pick. We can order up a human being in the same way we can order up pad thai on Seamless. We think intimacy lies in a perfectly-executed string of emoji. We think effort is a “good morning” text. We say romance is dead, because maybe it is, but maybe we just need to reinvent it. Maybe romance in our modern age is putting the phone down long enough to look in each other’s eyes at dinner. Maybe romance is deleting Tinder off your phone after an incredible first date with someone. Maybe romance is still there, we just don’t know what it looks like now. When we choose—if we commit—we are still one eye wandering at the options. We want the beautiful cut of filet mignon, but we’re too busy eyeing the mediocre buffet, because choice. Because choice. Our choices are killing us. We think choice means something. We think opportunity is good. We think the more chances we have, the better. But, it makes everything watered-down. Never mind actually feeling satisfied, we don’t even understand what satisfaction looks like, sounds like, feels like. We’re one foot out the door, because outside that door is more, more, more. We don’t see who’s right in front of our eyes asking to be loved, because no one is asking to be loved. We long for something that we still want to believe exists. Yet, we are looking for the next thrill, the next jolt of excitement, the next instant gratification. We soothe ourselves and distract ourselves and, if we can’t even face the demons inside our own brain, how can we be expected to stick something out, to love someone even when it’s not easy to love them? We bail. We leave. We see a limitless world in a way that no generation before us has seen. We can open up a new tab, look at pictures of Portugal, pull out a Visa, and book a plane ticket. We don’t do this, but we can. The point is that we know we can, even if we don’t have the resources to do so. There are always other tantalizing options. Open up Instagram and see the lives of others, the life we could have. See the places we’re not traveling to. See the lives we’re not living. See the people we’re not dating. We bombard ourselves with stimuli, input, input, input, and we wonder why we’re miserable. We wonder why we’re dissatisfied. We wonder why nothing lasts and everything feels a little hopeless. Because, we have no idea how to see our lives for what they are, instead of what they aren’t. And, even if we find it. Say we find that person we love who loves us. Commitment. Intimacy. “I love you.” We do it. We find it. Then, quickly, we live it for others. We tell people we’re in a relationship on Facebook. We throw our pictures up on Instagram. We become a “we.” We make it seem shiny and perfect because what we choose to share is the highlight reel. We don’t share the 3am fights, the reddened eyes, the tear-stained bedsheets. We don’t write status updates about how their love for us shines a light on where we don’t love ourselves. We don’t tweet 140 characters of sadness when we’re having the kinds of conversations that can make or break the future of our love. This is not what we share. Shiny picture. Happy couple. Love is perfect. Then, we see these other happy, shiny couples and we compare. We are The Emoji Generation. Choice Culture. The Comparison Generation. Measuring up. Good enough. The best. Never before have we had such an incredible cornucopia of markers for what it looks like to live the Best Life Possible. We input, input, input and soon find ourselves in despair. We’ll never be good enough, because what we’re trying to measure up to just does not fucking exist. These lives do not exist. These relationships do not exist. Yet, we can’t believe it. We see it with our own eyes. And, we want it. And, we will make ourselves miserable until we get it. So, we break up. We break up because we’re not good enough, our lives aren’t good enough, our relationship isn’t good enough. We swipe, swipe, swipe, just a bit more on Tinder. We order someone up to our door just like a pizza. And, the cycle starts again. Emoji. “Good morning” text. Intimacy. Put down the phone. Couple selfie. Shiny, happy couple. Compare. Compare. Compare. The inevitable creeping in of latent, subtle dissatisfaction. The fights. “Something is wrong, but I don’t know what it is.” “This isn’t working.” “I need something more.” And, we break up. Another love lost. Another graveyard of shiny, happy couple selfies. On to the next. Searching for the elusive more. The next fix. The next gratification. The next quick hit. Living our lives in 140 characters, 5 second snaps, frozen filtered images, four minute movies, attention here, attention there. More as an illusion. We worry about settling, all the while making ourselves suffer thinking that anything less than the shiny, happy filtered life we’ve been accustomed to is settling. What is settling? We don’t know, but we fucking don’t want it. If it’s not perfect, it’s settling. If it’s not glittery filtered love, settling. If it’s not Pinterest-worthy, settling. We realize that this more we want is a lie. We want phone calls. We want to see a face we love absent of the blue dim of a phone screen. We want slowness. We want simplicity. We want a life that does not need the validation of likes, favorites, comments, upvotes. We may not know yet that we want this, but we do. We want connection, true connection. We want a love that builds, not a love that gets discarded for the next hit. We want to come home to people. We want to lay down our heads at the end of our lives and know we lived well, we lived the fuck out of our lives. This is what we want even if we don’t know it yet. Yet, this is not how we date now. This is not how we love now.” ~ Jamie Varon
* I want to add, that the traditional model of commitment to one, significant other, might also be outdated… people invest so much in one, significant other, and neglect the greater tribe and community of family, friends, and travellers…
What happens when that one, significant other dies?
Who will you commit to, then?
If you commit to yourself, you can commit to anyone.
Commitment: something to contemplate…
the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, etc.
an engagement or obligation that restricts freedom of action.”
love, loyalty, or enthusiasm for a person or activity.”