*…At Your Service…*



That’s me!

I’ve been working really hard, and learning the internet – I can now help many people, at once!

Due to Trauma-Factory, Earth, I’m running late for my own destiny…

I’ve now created two online courses – but Facebook and Instagram have banned linking out to my website because I am just that revolutionary, and evolutionary.

I mean business.

I mean change.

I make you this post, to share with your world. (It’s safe to post on fb/ig).

Know anyone interested? Please send them my way!

PEEP SHOW COURSE: all proceeds go toward getting women off the streets, and behind the safety of their phones. Read more, here!

ENLIGHTENED RELATIONSHIPS COURSE: next-levelling humans. Read more, here!

Oh yeah; FREE Self-Care Rituals for babes, here. Immediate download! No waiting…

Tell your friends!

Love & Thanks,





Because 7 is one quarter of 28 days.

28 days is one Moon Cycle.

From Empty to Full, to Empty, to Full.
The Moon is Divided, to further pin-point “time”.
From New Moon to Full Moon, is 13/14 days – 2 weeks.
And another two, from Full Moon to New Moon.
Roughly 27-30 days each Moon.


The Moon Cycle is pretty precise, and pretty regular – but not in the way that the Human Mind comprehends time/space.
Every 27-almost-thirty days, the Moon is Full – like clockwork.

Where the human-mind has the problem, is that the Moon orbits the Earth, while they *both* orbit the Sun.
This causes a 27/28 or 29/30 day Moon Cycle.
Also why the Moon appears BIG some days, and not on other days.

Half of 30, is 15; half of 15 is 7.5, which is still one week.
One week/quarter, is roughly 7- 7.5 days/Suns.

The Moon is a Sundial.

What else do we know with an approximate 30 day cycle?
Oh; that’s right: THE RHYTHM OF LIFE



“Ovulation” is akin to a FULL MOON; you can see the waxing of a new cycle with the ‘Primordial Follicles’, as the egg matures. When it is *full*, mature, and bursting with life, it busts out of the Ovary, ready to hang out in the Fallopian Tube, where it meets your Dad – or not.


The SAC (Corpus Luteum) the egg was grown in, WANES… just like the darkening moon, withering, and becoming Cosmic Compost. The Feminine Mysteries are present in this cycle, as The Triple Goddess (The Moira, from my book).  I prefer to Ovulate at a FULL MOON, and bleed on a New Moon.


The Triple Goddess is known as The Maiden; The Mother; and the Crone. Waxing, FULL, and WANING. As a Meditation, this cycle can be acknowledged in ONE BREATH CYCLE: 1) New IN breath… 2) FULL OXYGEN-RUSH LIFE-FORCE HEARTBEAT! 3)…Waning OUT breath. The Goddess is in YOU.
The Female has The Womb; this Temple of Life, where you lived from the moment YOUR MOTHER formed inside HER MOTHER. Even if you are boy, you lived there, and were born from this Rhythm of Life. Any harm to women, is harm to LIFE, ITSELF. HARM, to THE RHYTHM. Deal with your Goddess issues. Everyone has them, in a Patriarchy. God is NOT male – soz.

Many indigenous communities mapped only by The Moon.
– there was no need for “precise” mapped-months of a-certain-amount-of-days/hours/minutes/seconds.
Heartbeats keep your real-time.
You have never not-been “happening”, NOW. Boom. Now. Boom.
Indigenous Moons were, simply, “The Harvest Moon”, or “The Cherries Turn Black Moon”, and the Moons were counted by the seasons; The First Moon after Summer. The First Moon of Winter.
Quarter Moons were maps, enough.
(and half-quarter, quarters.)

The “general global consensus”, of approx 12 Moons of 30 Days equates to the 360 Degrees of a Perfect Circle.
A perfectly mappable calendar.

The Mayan Calendar is mapped according to 13 Moons of 28 Days (for example).
And every year, after the end, and before the beginning, they have THE DAY OUT OF TIME. This “DOOT” occurs when the Sun Rises with Fixed-Star Sirius.
Total of 365 days.

It’s the Gregorian Calender that traps you in artificial time of 12 uneven Mo(o)nths, *not quite* in tune with the regular-moon.
This *could* be remedied with even-Mo(o)nths, and approx 5 days “out of time”. A great way to end and start a year, don’t you think? 

The Gregorian Calendar traps your mind, your energy, your attention, and life, in Maya/Matrix. “The Illusion”.
In here, you are subject to the things that artificial time wants you to know; what’s important; who matters; who’s the boss; what the rules are; invented government; invented money; invented religion; earth-for-sale; what you absolutely must buy with your values and money-system; what is news… it’s all a lie. “A Grand Illusion”… detuned. OZ.

* I didn’t invent the calendar; I didn’t invent astronomy; I didn’t invent astrology: I witness.

And if you *don’t* understand this^, you can’t “astrology” – and this is why: IT’S COMPLICATED.
It’s an endless study of maps, cycles, orbits, maths, concentric rings; ellipses; geometry; physics; Light; psychology; archetypes; storytelling; alchemy; chemistry; wonder; awe; magic; alignments; aspects; revelations; discoveries – and more.

I want to show you something really cool; you can read about the Venus Synodic Cycle, here:
01-earth-venusAnimated Venus:

A Story of 0 – 9



(Infinite, a perfect circle)

All of its creations emanated from it in numerical energetic order.

(A magical order unseen)

1 2   3   4    5     6       7        8        9

And thus everything is built from the infinite combinations of itself.

It’s as if I have a unique ‘phone number’ that dials back to the origin of my creation.

Perhaps I am a 1 1 1 1

or a 1 2 1 2

or a 1 2 3 4


Whatever my ‘number’ it can be dialed; it can be resonated…like music… My entire being can sing the sound of me.

And this thing known as chaos; it is movement. Without it there could be no combining of numbers. For they would remain in order. Stagnant.

For example, myself.

The mathematical summation of:







The year I was born + the number of the house I live in.

The numbers I notice + the people I meet.

(Now equals number combination’s the brain cannot fathom)

The hugs with others, the grass, the trees, the birds, the rain. The music and the dance. A solo experience shared of a beautiful maths. For I began at zero, so must everything else. Everyone else.

All ancients made stories to understand.

Another story I like coz it’s pretty is the Fabric of Life.

An individual strand. Like your own number thread.

Imagine…how beautiful… a dense cord of colour/number/sound/texture energy. Vibrating musical notes. Building textures from the origins of energy. Complex born unique from simple zero. Origin of all. You know? As above so below- In La’kesh-etc

Imagine you are a threaded needle; walking around, dancing, hugging, smiling at strangers, shaking hands…


‘…go Under the Ivy’ ~ Kate Bush

Imagine your thread – mine might be a strong, wooden, brown vine, abundant with Ivy – green leaves entwining, vibrant pink-red roses – always renewing, revealing honey-gold light dew-stars from their hearts. Unfolding and enfolding. Breathing with life; pulsing with movement. Imagine the singing…

'...becomes The Rose." ~ Bette Midler

‘…becomes The Rose.” ~ Bette Midler

Every time I hug another, I feel as if the threads hug also, weaving together this ‘fabric of life’; our songs harmonize, creating a new sound. Or they don’t harmonize, yet still – a new sound.

Sewing a moment together in time. Weaving forever, moving forever, dancing forever.

Imagine the sight!


One of Life's Fabrics...

One of Life’s Fabrics…

I = Mardi

In La’kesh

All My Love

4 April 2013 at 16:42

betty burlesque

Hey, girl!Download Button




In 1930, Hollywood – centre for Mind-Control – introduced the “Hays Code”, which censored sexuality in cinema, on the grounds of “immorally influencing the minds of the public” with SEX. 😂

This censorship (along with its Religious origins) actually CREATED and FORTIFIED a split in the human being, between its wholeness, and its sexuality; separating the two.
This is how the billion dollar porn industry was eventually born; through censorship, and suppression, where it was forced underground, and into the dark corners of life where its light became blanketed in guilt and shame… which then expressed itself in twisted ways, due to trying to ‘flip the switch’, and saturate accumulated negatively-vibrating trauma with the positive charge of pleasure (pleasure/pain + trauma/healing HUGE topic).

Sex used to just be a part of the whole experience of being alive; it’s where being alive came from! YOU ARE THE LIVING ORGASM OF THE REUNION OF THE COSMIC MOTHER AND FATHER (whether you like it, or not – that’s your issue.)  

It makes ZERO sense, that one “official” couple fumble around in the dark, until they eventually learn they’re not compatible – or worse; think they have to live like that forever!

Art, education, and entertainment are natural vehicles for the exploration of sexual and sensual delight, that help you learn about yourself, and heal your traumas that were created by the Space Patriarchy, in the first place!

– aside from the Ancient Vedic Art of astrologically aligning partners with such specificity, that they were guaranteed to at least get along – and where a LOVE MARRIAGE always won out, over an arranged one.
Sexual Education of the next-generation was traditionally a WOMAN’S ROLE; the patriarchy needs to get its filthy fingers OFF human sexuality.
Its doing it wrong.

You know why He squashes Her down, century after century…

I’ve said it a MILLION times: the secret to your liberation, is *literally* found in your sexual energy.
UP The spine, ILLUMINATING your brain/mind/consciousness  – which is an EVENT, and not a concept. It’s something that actually happens, that releases you from slavery.
I’m sorry to say: THEY DO NOT WANT THIS FOR YOU. If they did, you would KNOW what Kundalini was, and that it could happen to you!!
When mine rose, that was my first revelation: “why the fuck did no one tell me this could happen?!”

As of the other day, the patriarchal internet plans to censor many of the frequented Social Media sites; Tumblr, Instagram, fb, and it will eventually hunt you down.


Tumblr censorship

“According to the policy, public discussion of “sexual violence and exploitation” is OK, but anything encouraging sex for pleasure between adults is now a bannable offense in public posts.”

Clearly, sex is the worst thing a person can engage in.  

FILE-SHARING was also interrupted by the patriarchy, rather than seeing where that could take us, as a species. It was bringing down the Monopoly of the Media Mind-Control Machine, and making way for the rise of non-curated stories.
SO, they started curating REALITY. 

Whether it’s file-sharing, or sexual pairing, The Goddess LOVES connection, and sharing, the speed of light, electricity, abundance, creativity, and creation…  

Many of you may know, that I left fb in April; I know it owns Insta, but I’ve just been laying low, here, and staying shallow, while I mourn existence, and what has become of the world in my short life.

I express my disdain in short bursts, on Twitter, and MeWe.
Mostly, I seethe.

We are living in a post-MeToo world, and those of us who are SEXUAL HEALERS and EDUCATORS have no platform, no vehicle, and no voice for our work.

Tantric Goddess, Psalm Isadora, who killed herself a while back, once despaired about how fb and twitter classed her HEALING WORK as “sex work” – she wasn’t allowed to advertise any of her stuff on the platforms and to the people that NEED IT, the most.

If you think I’m overreacting, do you think I’ve been overreacting for 9 years?
Or, that maybe, I might just be onto something…?

What you can do right now:
1) If you’re a female who is concerned about this censorship, click the link in my insta bio to get on my list by downloading your FREE copy of 5 Rituals for Self-Care – this list is for women, only. Please respect the space we need to talk amongst ourselves. Click here, ladies!

2) If you’re not a female, you can get on my MAIN list, on the homepage of my website, [which has already been banned by fb AND IG DM] where I’ll keep you updated on what we’re doing. Scroll down the page for the sign-up form.   

3) Join MeWe, I’m there. It’s like a colourful and fun fb. Private groups, chat, friends and shit.

TRANSFER any of your Goddess or Sexy groups over to that site. Bring your friends. It’s a party.

Freedom still exists there, (for now). They are a smaller company, so it will take them longer to embrace censorship. Move quickly, gather your tribes.

4) Read the articles on my blog (here!) for more info on Sex, Censorship, and the Silverscreen.
– Give me a minute; everything I do as a Public Service, I do with c-ptsd from rape trauma, whilst recurringly homeless.
Yes; I hate earth, and want to leave, asap.
Why would I want to stay anywhere the GODDESS LIFE-FORCE is enslaved??

Only men are allowed to make $ off women’s bodies and energy – the women, themselves, are not! 

Ergo: homeless. Dependent. Enslaved. And forced into unsafe conditions.  

FEEL FREE TO SHARE THIS FAR AND WIDE; I’ve always been generous, that way.


Some of my later posts are *so* PTSD; I apologise.
There is a lot “in between the lines”; she just assumes you “get it” – and sometimes extra details and links in the comments.

I had *so* much to say; I’ve just not been able to get it out, in time.






* The Alphabet vs The Goddess by Dr. Leonard Shlain
* Sex at 24 Frames per Second
(Click *tiny blue link*, top LEFT)

No sex, please, we’re beholden to our advertisers.



* please note, I am not addressing any criminal or abusive topics related to this subject. Tribal Lore, or a matriarchy, would never tolerate such garbage in the first place. 

What is the Reason for Rape?

A young woman asked a very good question at the “Youth and Truth” sessions with Sadhguru.

My comment on the article is below her question; I have quoted Sadhguru from the article, above.

Q: Sir, we portray our India as a woman and call her “Mother India”. Yet we see many rape cases, even in which we see a man raping his own mother, daughter or sister. What drives a man with such madness of pleasure to do such an inhuman act?

The guy goes crazy.

If he thinks nobody is watching, he will pounce on somebody.

…you must understand that in a rape case, the only witness is almost always the victim. If you guarantee to a rapist that, if you rape and get caught, you will hang for sure, what do you think he will do? He will eliminate that only witness.

If he was in the village, then by eighteen, nineteen he would be married to somebody. Now he has no hope. He is simply there, and he will do wild things. This is the nature of a human being, we must understand.

The woman has asked the question, because she is *not* inhuman; she is not like this.
It is not her nature to be “feral”.

Wild with wonder, and passion, and creativity, and Love, perhaps – but she is not a rapist, or a killer, by nature.

Here, Sadhguru paints a picture of man as a “Wild, feral, hormonal rapist and murderer, by nature.”
And we are told he is “just a man” – or a boy, even, and to NOT BE AFRAID. Even Sadhguru sounds afraid! His first thought, is: “Do not guarantee to a rapist that they will be punished; for he will surely ELIMINATE YOU.”
Rape and Murder you.

Let us not forget that a FATHER who rapes his baby daughter, is not under the influence of Hormones – this is something else, entirely.
A darkness, that us women of the world still have no answer or explanation for – other than Man is, by nature, ‘stupid’, ‘hormonal’, ‘crazy,’ ‘opportunistic’, ‘self-serving’, ‘clueless’, ‘calculating’, ‘reactionary’, ‘murderous’.
That girls and women are better than him; so we will not have equal-partners, but needy-children with scary muscles; as bosses, teachers, parents, friends, and romantic-partners.
“Do not blame the boy-child! He is messed-up; misguided. Misdirected. Unable to think for himself. He is pathetic. Help him; but be careful – he might rape and murder you.”

Men can be MORE than this beast he is portrayed as, in every culture, all over the world. We are Universally Bonded by the fact that it is not “Indian Men” – it is MEN.
Women cannot help him; he rapes and murders her if she tries. Men must help Men.
Help them to R.E.S.P.E.C.T. women.

He goes on to say, that Indian Society had previously planned a boy’s life; your affairs will be settled, you will have a wife.

Man is the perpetual Baby; with his clothes laid-out, and breakfast ready. He does not see nor receive his Mother’s Love; he expects her servitude. She is his slave. Woman is his entitlement.
He is like a fat, pompous king, that feeds only the ego, and his primal nature.

The wife will be the ‘new mother’.

Some of the points he raised are relevant only to Indian Society. And to hormonal boys.

Mother Earth is full of murderous male-rapists who are beyond hormonal years; whose wives give birth to daughters; who have sisters; who were raised in cities.

The way I see it, the majority of the world worships a male-god; this has programmed girls to see men as god-Like.
Boys are not programmed to see girls and women as god-Like: it is imbalanced.
She automatically respects him; he automatically does not respect her.

This young woman’s question holds the key:
It is called “Mother India”, but She and her daughters are disrespected.

The further India moves from its Goddess roots, the stupider it’s men become.

Girls and women need to see Man for what he really is; not “god-Like”, but exactly as Sadhguru describes: FERAL AND DANGEROUS.

Om Shakti
Om Shanti


Octarine has already been imaginated, or *seen*.

And I’ve added a couple:

* Glitterine ~ it’s sort of pink/gold/peach/champagne

* Fla’tango ~ it’s like a hot pink-flame tangerine flamingo fire you find in sunsets

* Violet Ice ~ It’s icy! It’s violet! But white opalesque mermaid scales… it has changing flutters of icy opal purifire… (Purifire might also be another name for it.)

* Lavalite ~ a Red Velvet/Turquoise/Gold

* Tropica ~ Hot Pink/Ultra Violet/and Amber

* Glowver ~ It glows, it is sort of flame-orange, gold-heart – not burny; it Glows Love.

* Silvette ~ silvergrey~pinkviolette

* Harmonium ~ Ice Cream coloured carnival in the Heart

* Jazz ~ silver, smoky shades of blue…

* Caramee ~ a golden brown fusion of Sun and Earth; think ground gold nuggets and coffee beans

* Terrabella ~ desert hues, where the red sands meet the cobalt-blue sky

From Alison Thompson:
* Aqualore ~ aqua blue tinged with golden sunrise

* Tangagrine. Tangerine green – sunset reflection just above the eastern horizon at sunset

* Charcool – the intermediate phase of disunderstanding a denseness

From Maalika Shay Devi Dasi:
* RaisinWild ~ the color when two lovers share a raisin smoothie and then frenchkiss with pink tongues

* BlueGreenScream ~ An electrik fusion of joyous yellow and turquoise dancing aggressively w/ eachother

* AngelEsque ~ a soft light shimmer mixed with the color of babies lips and a gold, translucent sweat


A deeper shade of Glitterine… lighter shades have lighter pink… more peach, less orange…
I suppose one could say that Glitterine is the colour of Autumn, but also of Spring. There is a tender pink seed of growth hidden in the harvest…



Another shade of Glitterine…



A spring shade of Glitterine…

*I elaborate;
We haven’t so much as been ‘inventing’ colours, as we have been *seeing* them…

This is a deeper shade of *Glitterine, perhaps it is the colour at the Heart of an Equinox… part Autumn, part Spring…
And depending on if you lean into Autumn, or if you lean in to Spring, the shades get deeper, or brighter… Spring shades are a little pinker… a little peachy, with more champagne bliss…

Add yours, below! 💋

The Four Insights – Alberto Villoldo [Understanding Perception and the Human Brain]


Visit Alberto 


  • The Body and Physical Perception: The Level of the Serpent

The Serpent is an instinctual creature with extraordinary senses that it can rely upon to tell it where there is food and where there is a predator. Similarly, in the physical realm, we humans rely upon on our senses to give us a picture of ourselves and the world. This is a very material level of perception, where everything is tangible, solid, and difficult to change; where reality is 1 percent spirit and 99 percent matter.

From this perception of serpent, we can see, touch, and even smell an object in front of us, such as a loaf of bread, and we know that it’s there, physically  present. We don’t imagine the stalks of golden wheat in the bread, the kneading of the baker, or the fire that transformed it into a loaf that we can eat – we only see an object that can satisfy our desire for hunger. Similarly, we don’t see sex as an act of Love; we see it as an act of longing that will satisfy our desire.

At the level of the serpent, the language we use to depict reality is molecular and chemical. We could describe bread scientifically, [ – making executive decision to edit out some details. I trust you will ‘get’ these concepts!]…

… When we see problems through the eyes of the serpent only, we try to come up with physical solutions. We want to change the job, trade in the car, find a new partner, or have an affair…

…At serpent, we rely totally on our instinctual senses and don’t reflect more deeply on our problems. We’re operating from  that part of the brain we share with lizards and dinosaurs – that is, we’re aware of our physical bodies, but we’re not cognizant of our mental, creative, and spiritual selves. In this state, we perceive outer form and accept only the obvious, remaining blind to our feelings and those of others. We’re devoid of rich, complex thinking, and simply act and react. This state can be very useful for operating in the physical world. After all, we need to pay bills, mow the lawn, and drive the kids to school without reading any more meaning into these actions. And, as Sig. Freud once famously remarked, ” Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.”

Remaining in serpent – that is, putting one foot in front of the other – is especially helpful for getting us through immediate crisis. Our reptilian brain is in charge, working from survival instincts, and we simply do what has to be done without wasting valuable energy thinking about it, analyzing it, or getting emotionally distraught about it. We all know how wearying it is to meet someone who refuses to function at this level even when it[‘s very practical to do so, choosing to read deep meaning into eve the most trivial of matters instead of just getting the work done.

The instincts of serpent are also very helpful because they can alert us to danger before we consciously perceive it – we get a “bad vibe” about a person or place and avoid it without knowing why, or we sense that a police officer with a radar gun is up the road, so we take our foot off the gas pedal.

Serpent is an essential state to master, as we have to be effective in the physical world and take care of business in a practical way. But when we allow our need to survive at all costs to dominate, we’re not always so pleasant to be around. We reach for the most literal signs of security… … We coil up and contract, striking out before the other guy can clobber us;  we amass weapons and build fences. In fact archeologists found excavating neolithic sites have found that the earliest defenses built by humans weren’t designed to protect them from physical enemies but from the invisible ghouls and dangers they perceived from the level of the serpent.

Unfortunately, much of humanity has lived at the level of serpent for thousands of years. Many people who take the Bible and the Koran literally, with their instructions to slay infidels, still live in this realm. It’s important to be able to take our perception up a notch, for the good of ourselves and our world, because serpent is the cold-blooded domain of “an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.”

  • The Mind and Emotional Perception: The Level of the Jaguar

In this perceptual state, jaguar, the mind interprets our reality. We recognize that the mind can create psychosomatic diseases or restore health, that repressed anger can cause cancer, and that a positive attitude brings joy and peace to ourselves and others around us. We’re aware that our experiences are influenced buy our thoughts and that everything isn’t necessarily what it seems to be in the physical realm.

Now when we look at a loaf of bread, we know that it came from the fields of wheat, and the baker… [possibilities with bread; eat it, butter, store it, give it away, food fight etc] but we’ve been taught certain beliefs about bread, and those beliefs influence our decision about what to do with it. We know that it’s not right to waste food, so we quickly brush aside any temptation to throw it across the room just for fun.

In short, we understand that that we have choices, but we also know that those choices are limited by our beliefs about bread. We also comprehend the bread’s symbolic meanings: We understand that it represents life, as in ” the bread of life”; we use the expression “white bread” to denote a person who lacks dimension and personality; and we say: “I have no bread” to express a lack of money. A loaf of bread represents more than the satisfaction of our hunger, and having sex represents more than the satisfaction of our need – it can be an act of intimacy.

The realm of beliefs, ideas, and emotions is associated with the jaguar because this type of perception can suddenly transform situations, causing them to be seen in a new light, and such a creature is the archetype of sudden change. The jaguar spots [its] prey and pounces on it, quickly extinguishing its life – yet this helps keep down the population of the other animals and maintain balance in the rain forest, thus making it possible for other life to thrive in the ecosystem. In the same way, a single insight can allow us to break free from our negative feelings or an old way of operating that’s preventing us from moving forward.

The jaguars’ instincts are different from those of the serpent, which is solely concerned with survival and preservation. Jaguars are curious and inquisitive – our cat instinct leads us to the right people and situations (or the wrong ones, if our feline instinct is flawed). Jaguar perception is associated with the mammalian brain, that of emotion and deep feelings of Love, intimacy, family, caring, and compassion. Yet it is also the brain of aggression, superstition, amulets, and Nostradamus and Genghis Khan. The language of the level of jaguar is spoken or written words, which we use to  form and express ideas, beliefs, and feelings. Here we understand symbols and signs and can agree that certain sounds are words that mean something specific.

From jaguar, we recognize that we can give a hungry man a fish, but a more practical long-term solution is to teach him how to fish. We know that we can give a starving child a piece of bread, but we also know that one does not live on bread alone. We rise above the literal level and see a wider range of possibilities in any situation. If we have a migraine, we ask ourselves, “What could be the cause? What is my body trying to tell me?”

Just as the mental level encases the physical, in Jaguar we incorporate what we experience at serpent state. So if we have a headache, we’re aware of our pain, but we also think about what might have caused it, such as chocolate or red wine [too much responsibility, worries about business or a fight with a Loved one ~ our body is responding with a headache].

Through the eyes of jaguar, we look at the child who is acting out in class and ask, “Is he actually unable to sit still and keep his hands to himself and if so, why?” We consider whether the child ate a lot of sugary treats and has a strong physical urge to move, if he’s bored by what the teacher is saying and so on. We’re able to perceive much more about the situation than we would at serpent state; consequently, we’re able to think of many more solutions. We don’t just punish the child that acts out, we make sure he eats a healthy breakfast and has a chance to walk and run before he has to settle into his seat and focus on listening to the teacher. We don’t just pop a pain pill – we learn to say no to our extra responsibilities and start expressing the anger we’ve been repressing. Because we have so many more possibilities, we’re able to make effective changes and solve more complex issues.

  • The Soul and Sacred perception: The Level of Hummingbird

The next domain of perception (which also encases the other two levels) is that of the soul. The language of this level is image, music, poetry, and dreams – it’s the realm of myth, where the soul can experience itself on a sacred journey, ans is thus symbolized by hummingbird. Although tiny, this bird manages to navigate thousands of miles in its yearly migration from Canada to Brazil. It never loses its sense of direction or its drive to press forward, and never wonders if it has enough food or strength for its voyage. In the domain of the mythic, we are all like hummingbird, on a grand voyage and yearning to drink only from the nectar of life. When we don’t perceive our journey as sacred, we become mired at the level of the mind and its complicated analysis of the world. From hummingbird, we perceive all of our experiences as part of an epic journey.

The hummingbird perceptual state is associated with the neocortex, the most recent addition to the human brain. The neocortex evolved around 100,000 years ago and is responsible for our ability to reason, visualize, and create. It is the brain of Galileo and Beethoven, science, art, and mythology.

At the soul level, solutions to problems that we can’t solve with the mind suddenly become evident. In Peru a few years back, for instance, the native people had begun to perceive that the inexpensive, healthy, homemade, wholegrain bread that they’d been eating for generations was inferior to store-bought, heavily processed white loaves that they saw the wealthy eat. As a result, they were eating less wholesome bread, and it was affecting the well-being of the population.

The president of Peru could have tried to resolve the problem at the level of the mind and attempted to convince people through a public-relations campaign that brown bread is good for you, or he could have worked with the legislature to pass a law raising the taxes on white bread to try to force people to buy more affordable loaves. Instead, he chose to address the situation from the hummingbird level of perception.

The president recognized that to the village people of his country, white bread had come to represent success and sophistication, while brown bread symbolized poverty and ordinariness. He knew he had to change their perception that white bread is better, so he made a television clip that showed him dining with with his family in the presidential palace, eating brown bread. He knew that this would deliver the message that brown bread is the food off the successful and the sophisticated, and it worked. Indigenous people in Peru returned to eating brown bread because this was the bread of kings, not peasants!

When I eat a restaurants in Peru, I always load up my bag with extra rolls that are served, because I know I’ll have an opportunity to help someone out by giving them a roll that may be their only meal of the day. Once when I was traveling with a Laika elder, I found myself in a bus station surrounded by several children who had gathered around me in the hopes that I might give them some coins or candy. I began to take the rolls out of the bag and distribute them, but the elder told me, ” This is not the bread these children need. The kind of food my people need is the food of the soul, not the stomach.” He took the rolls from me and distributed them to the children himself, but as he did, he also began telling them stories about their Inka ancestors.

Afterward, the elder explained, “These stories are the nourishment that they are craving. I gave them not the bread that will feed them tonight, but the bread that will feed them their entire lives.” He was perceiving with the eyes of the hummingbird – to him, the stories were nourishment for the soul. When he saw me handing out rolls, he intervened at the level of the sacred by offering these people the mythology of their people.

At the level of the soul, things are what they truly are: an expression of the sacred. A house is not simply a roof over your head, it’s a home. A spouse is not merely a person you share household and child-rearing duties with, but a chosen partner, a fellow traveler on a great journey. In this state, you look at bread and ask, ” Am I hungry for bread, or am I hungering for the nurturing it represents?” You’re able to understand the importance of breaking bread with others and how your belly can never be adequately filled when others go hungry in the world.

At the level of hummingbird we listen below the surface of conversations and hear their hidden meanings. We operate in metaphors, so if we have a migraine, we ask ourselves, “Am I going out of my mind? What thoughts are stuck in my head?What is this a sign of?” In Chinese medicine, unexpressed anger is said to reside in our liver, so if we have liver trouble, we know it can be a sign our our repressed rage. So if our liver function is sluggish, we ask, “What medication can I take?” but also, “How can I practise forgiveness, both with myself and others?” We understand illness to be the warning light that tells us there’s something going on that needs our attention, and we don’t treat the symptom alone.When we look through the eyes of hummingbird and we see an overly active child, we ask, “How is this child’s ‘problem’ a positive opportunity?” We recognize that giving Ritalin to a hyperactive child may make him stay in his seat and focus on what the teacher is saying, but it takes away his natural ability to multitask. In a jungle, this child’s “problem” behaviour or “learning deficit” would actually be an asset – he would be able to hear the birds call to each other and the rushing of the waterfall and still engage in a conversation, all the while remaining alert to possible danger. In hummingbird, we perceive the child’s distractibility as a gift that’s invaluable for his soul’s journey.

  • Spiritual Perception: The Level of Eagle

(To be continued! Or – just read the book; it’s really good, and recommended 🙂

In the naïveté of my pure, unbroken soul, I intentionally left this section blank, many years ago, as a ‘nod’ to Language-less Divine Perception – which, I have since learned, is actually rare. Almost no-one sees things from here.

In the book, this is summarised by “We do not see a rich man giving a poor man some bread; we see Spirit nourishing Spirit.”

This is also best described by the actualities of the greetings in some languages, that allude to Unity Consciousness:
Namaste‘, in Sanskrit, means: “The Light in me, acknowledges the Light in you.”
In Lak’ech‘ in Mayan, means: “You are another myself/I am another yourself.”
Mitakuye Oyasin‘ in Lakota, means: “We are all related.”

This level is the Macrocosmic perception that also dwells within the Microcosm. One eye is here, one eye is there. Macro sees Micro; participates.
Micro – en-masse – cannot see Macro. Unless: gnosis.) 

Why Do We Want To Die?

I need to write my suicide note – before it’s too late. I get close to that moment, and each time, it becomes more ‘reactionary’, than conscious, measured, and deliberate.

Or, I could just write a book; like Sylvia Plath.

(whom I’ve actually never read)

Sometimes, these “hysterical women” of the past, undoubtedly suffered CHILDhood rape abuse; from adult-male incest and paedophilia. There was nothing inherently wrong with these women, before, it’s just that their life-spark had been murdered inside their tiny bodies. Anyone starving for light knows the damage this does.

Something feral and frothing comes…

These human beings needed their life-spark to kindle their dreams, and blaze the path of their destiny.

Girl, Interrupted.

Sometimes, it was old medicine – like Mercury poisoning, from fillings.

Altered internal chemistry, from the external environment.

Balance is Zen.

I believe Osho called it: “Lifedeath”. They are not separate things. He wanted to die, too, while he was alive.

Psalm Isadora did.

Why we want to die, teaches us how we want to live. We should talk about it.

Do you ever have that moment, when you decide you want to die, but you also think you should tell people ‘why’ – and then you’re like: “I need to write a note – but I also need to die!”

Then you get caught-up in the see-saw of which side will win, today… I hit that spot, often. Like, I’m used to it now. Sometimes I think, that I will really get bored of it, one day. The oscillation.

The note.

People often cry when someone they Love, leaves willingly, and they say: “Why, o why, did you choose a permanent solution to a temporary problem?!”

There is nothing temporary about my problem. Rape, and Homelessness, in the Kali Yuga.

I also realised, recently, that rape and homelessness are not personal problems.

And that’s where I hit my wall – only I didn’t know why.

There is nothing wrong with me; these are not personal problems – they’re global.

What’s wrong with me is my ability to accept them.

“It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” ~ Krishnamurti

CBT assures me: “It’s not happening now.”

But it is… somewhere in the world – my world – and I’m still homeless; it’s been 7 years. That’s always happening, now.

And it is always happening to me, because I am a Universal Person, merged with All.

Global problems are/become personal problems.

Every time I rent a room, the House gets demolished to build unaffordable apartments.

So I did a few sensible things… I realised I’d never be able to afford a house “of my own”, so I decided to apply for public housing in my city. Patiently. Until I hit crisis point, and ended up in a women’s shelter, where I was put on the “Emergency Housing Waiting List”. FOUR years ago.

They told me it would be a two-year wait.

Of course, it’s so strange, that a couple (two-people) could rent a one-bedroom apartment for the same price as an individual (one person). Financially, we are forced to co-habitate.

My soul is terribly out of sorts in this MAYA; I am so used to Tribal Lore and Unity Consciousness. Wtf is this insanity?! I ask myself, at least once a day. Not to mention: WHERE DID ARCHITECTURE GO

I actually cry at that; boxes have replaced The Sacred Geometry of “building”.

“Homeless chic; the upgraded ‘Cardboard Box’.”


*top left: a cross between a bullet and a penis, raping and threatening the Earth.

*top right: mentally-ill shaped upgraded cardboard boxes

*bottom left: classic Art Deco apartments, that just need a fresh coat of paint. Curved, like the eye, and ready to party and celebrate life! Adorned with green palms.

*bottom right: Art Deco apartments, Florin Court. Kind of monstrous and gloomy, but INVITING, and hypnotising… you can’t take your eyes off the full photo. Red-brick might have been nice… Makes walking down the street an adventure – not a funeral procession.

I am so used to having a Holy Place; a Temple, where I make sense.

Somewhere I have context, and am valuable.

Being a Holy Woman, I am very receptive to Akasha, and this is not a very ‘yang’ thing… it’s very Yin. And yin is unslaveable. Slaves are always ‘doing’.

I am not a good slave; I Love to serve.

Divinity, only, tho. I will completely ignore your ego if it dare look at or talk to me.

Sensibly, without a Temple for my Holy Flesh, I also realised I needed shelter, so I bought a van to live/sleep in. Shelter. Even though I can’t drive it.

– long story I could never repeat.

Ended up with C-PTSD from recurring rape, homelessness, and loss – most of my people, I lost to heroin and mental illness, one after the other. This is how they escape earth.

Come to think of it, maybe I’m doing well.

At least I am present with my suffering.


(I can’t always crop 4 u)

Being present, sensitised, and Holy, why would I wish to remain in a semi-permanent Maya, where my body is consistently tortured?

I just want to sleep.

Real Enlightenment – as illustrated by this gentleman – is described by me, thusly: “Enlightenment is, to: Go away. And then come back.”

There is a secret in there, only for enlightened beings.

I try to explain as much as I can so seekers and ignoramuses don’t feel left out, but secrets are ‘discoveries’ – I could try and tell you, but you will never knowledge it.

The Secret is found when you “go away”, and you come back with it.

Anyone who does not come back, I say, has abandoned her; abandoned reality.

It is his choice.

I am present with my suffering. Which is caused by Man. Who is the patriarchy. Who is the one-world government. Who is Yang – ‘doing/action/force’. Who his men, himself.

Because my body is female.

He is the only idiot, here.

Why would I not want to die, when I Loved him so, and he is… not really here.

He is raping and pillaging the women and the earth – including me – or he is knowingly/unknowingly supporting the men that do. Working for them, even, when they could be working for me. For us.

I have vision, and blueprints – but no resources. They’ve all been stolen by the patriarchy. The minds and bodies of men, and the land, herself. Earth.

I send out distress signals, that is all.

Yang designed men this way; good for labours of Love.

Of course, there are exceptions to the rule; everyone is everything, dancing.

Unless, of course, they’re not.

He is abusing or neglecting me, and I did not come to Earth to be ‘alone’. Nor did I come to be monogamous. I came to Love all beings. Which does not mean sex.

And he violently strips me of my skin, when my nature is to unveil.

And he grips my throat silent.

Sometimes my eyes pop, drowning in Salt Water, like juice squeezed from life’s burgeoning oranges…

I can call on Durga, but I can’t make him let go.

Sometimes everything goes hard, brittle, and black, and he snaps my neck, and I flop dead.

Don’t make me tell you what he does to children.

The Last 2000 Years

Do you remember when people asked you what you’d do if you won a million dollars?As if that was some life-changing amount!

These days, you couldn’t even buy a house.

I think, maybe, the movie mother! is my suicide note.

I am repeatedly murdered, anyway. Here.

What about you; why do you want to die?


“The Creation of Humankind”

‘The Hermetica: The Lost Wisdom of The Pharaohs’
Thoth Translated by Timothy Freke and Peter Gandy
Atum an alien? He sounds proud… like some other biblical figure that shall remain nameless!


*~ Creatrix ~*

When the Creator who want for a better name,
We call ‘Atum’, had made the ‘second god’
which is the Cosmos
He was pleased.
His creation was beautiful,
and wholly filled with goodness,
and he Loved it like his child.

In his kindness
Atum wished for there to be a creature
capable of appreciating the beauty of his creation.
So, by an act of will he created humankind,
to be an imitator of his divine wisdom and nurturing Love.

Atum asked each heavenly god in turn,
‘What can you provide for humanity,
which I am about to create?’
The sun said it would shine all day,
providing laughter as a source of joy
for both mortal minds and the boundless universe itself.
The moon promised sleep and silence, and to shine by night.

Saturn offered justice and necessity
Jupiter gave peace and Mars struggle.
Venus proffered Love and pleasure.
Mercury, who is also called Hermes, said:
‘I will make humankind intelligent.
I will convey to them wisdom and Knowledge of the Truth.
I will never cease to benefit all humanity.’
Atum was glad when he heard these words
and gave the command that man should come into being.

Mind, the All-Father, who is Life and Light,
gave birth to humanity, which bore his own image,
and he took delight in his offspring.
Joined to the gods by a sense of kinship,
humanity worshipped them with piety and holy thoughts,
while, for their part, the gods watch over humankind
with concern and loving mercy.

At first man was solely eternal and spiritual,
but Atum saw that his new creation
could not tend the Earth
unless he sheltered them in a material envelope –
giving man a mortal body as well as an immortal soul.
So, Atum bade Nature be,
and from his voice came a woman’s form,
so lovely that the gods were smitten with her beauty.
Atum made Nature mistress of the world.

She communed with herself,
producing all kinds of seeds
which Atum took hold of with his hands
and scattered over the Earth,
who is the mother of all worldly things.
Seeing in man a beautiful image of Atum,
Nature was filled with insatiable Love.
She clasped him to her,
and they merged to become one in Love.
Mortal and eternal blended and mingled
so that Man may perform the demands
of both sources of his nature.
Firstly, to serve God –
venerating and praising the things of heaven.
Secondly, to assist and administer the things of Earth,
by tilling the soil, navigating the waters, building on the land,
and by serving each other – the strongest of bonds that links the human race together.

Then Atum, the master of generation, bestowed on humankind
the sacrament of reproduction –
full of affection and joy,
gladness and yearning,
and all the heavenly Love that is his Being.

I would have to explain the nature
of this compelling sacred bond
that binds man and woman together,
were it not that each one of us,
if we explore our innermost feelings,
can experience it for ourselves.

Contemplate that supreme moment
when each sex infuses itself with the other.
One giving forth
and the other eagerly embracing.
At that moment,
through the intermingling of the two natures,
the female acquires male vigour,
and the male is relaxed in female languor.
This sweet sacramental act we celebrate
is shared in secret,
because if performed openly
before impure eyes
the ignorant may mock
and the divine power
manifesting in both sexes
will shy away.