So… “Fake it ’til You Make it.”
Sade Sati is over.
And I may not have even believed in it, unless I had lived through it.
And now I am thinking, about the two Cancer Moons I know, who may have finished theirs up, not too long ago… they’ve not been having a great time, either.
This is a 7 1/2 YEAR Transit, according to Vedic Astrology.
I feel nearly dead.
And I am used to the metaphorical dying… the Rebirth of Phoenix… but this is beyond even that.
And I feel really ugly, inside and out.
Everything that was happening on the inside, is taking it’s toll. And started to eat me from the inside… and now, it’s all I see, on the outside…
How many “Dark Night of the Soul”, are there?
My Soul was Light… I come from a Lovely and Beautiful place – nothing like this place, here.
So far, this entire incarnation has been one long, and endless “Dark Night”.
I have seen no sign of the Light I remember.
But, I’m still here, I still have a plan, and after what I have lost over the last few years or so, it’s time to turn up the Inner Beauty, and Inner Light, that I must have brought with me. Maybe that’s the only “Dawn” there ever will be…
And all I can think of, is “Fake it til you make it.”
I am talking make-up, clothes, outward appearances – a literal mask, or costume, of who you think you should be.
I need a whole new set of foundation, mascara, eyeliner, and lipliner.
I need to keep it minimal, simple, uniform.
I need to shape my eyebrows, and maintain them.
My hair had been falling out, while other hair was growing where it shouldn’t – anything I can do to right this wrong, I simply must.
It’s a full time job – but I have to get myself back, if we are to do anything of pleasure and purpose in this dark world.
So, Fake Face, and more fitting clothes, to make the body feel like it doesn’t need to conform to the world. Let the world come to it.
I also have a couple of friends who can make patterns. I have the design, I’ll get them to draw me up pattern, and then I’ll sew ~ many colours, fabrics, textures; one pattern. 😉
And that’s what it’s going to take before I can get back in the unconscious arena commonly known as Samsara.
Because: “If you don’t have a character, you can’t be in the movie!”
And I did not incarnate, just to fade to black…
I WANT to be in The Movie… but I’d also like to co-direct, or whatever. Not just a victim of it.
– o, that’s why I also say: “If I’m not the narrator, then I’m just the victim.”
Next: REALLY focus on nutritious and delicious diet, and weightlifting, so I feel STRONG, so my Soul, has a place to call Home.
Make one dream come true each day.
(If you’re used to doing that, do it for someone else. If you’re used to doing it for others, do it for yourself.)
Maybe slowly begin to socialise, again.
Get some surgery if you’re psychologically sound – life is too short.
I need to, regarding the hair imbalance. Over the years, I’ve developed an irrational phobia of hair.
And I know others who have had surgeries for various reasons; all report an improved quality of life.
Whether it’s a lap band, a breast reduction, or gender reassignment – I haven’t met anyone who regrets having their surgery.
Take control of your body.
See the doctor.
Work with the doctor – but find a good one. One that doesn’t laugh in the face of alternative and holistic medicines.
Stay away from the one’s that prescribe medication for every little thing. Unless medication is your goal.
Check up your eyes, your teeth, your ears, and your insides.
Get the courage up for a sexual health check – they even offer a $20 Gift Voucher at my clinic. 😉
I will admit, like a Virgo, like Michael Jackson, Amy Winehouse, and Dolly Parton (Moon/Rising), there is a chance I might overdo it in my desire for perfection, but as long I get clear, and set boundaries, I should be ok… 😉
Laser Hair Removal is my friend.
Maybe someday I’ll learn to use it to help others.
So, as usual: “Google is your friend”.
I found some other tips, online, like:
* accentuate your strong points. Physically, and morally. Really focus on your Best Self.
* people see you as 20% more attractive, than you see yourself.
* think about the people you like: have you actually even noticed if they are beautiful, or not?