*…At Your Service…*

The Language of Love

*~ WE ARE ALL BATHED IN THE SAME LIGHT ~*

Every One is Loving you in their own way – whether you notice or not.

What is your “Love Language”?
Learn to speak them all, and watch your relationships *~ Bloom ~* evergreen, all around you!

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Important to note, is that depending on one’s “Love Style” certain unkindnesses will not phase one, while those same unkindnesses will destroy another.

According to Gary Chapman, here are the 5 Love Languages:

* WORDS OF AFFIRMATION
* ACTS OF SERVICE
* RECEIVING GIFTS
* QUALITY TIME
* PHYSICAL TOUCH

WORDS:
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. You thrive on hearing kind and encouraging words that build you up.

SERVICE:
Can helping with homework really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most wants to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter. When others serve you out of love (and not obligation), you feel truly valued and loved.

GIFTS:
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures. Gifts are heartfelt symbols to you of someone else’s love and affection for you.

PRESENCE:
In Quality Time, nothing says “I love you” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes you feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed activities, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. Whether itʼs spending uninterrupted time talking with someone else or doing activities together, you deepen your connection with others through sharing time.

TOUCH:
A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, and thoughtful touches on the arm—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive. Appropriate and timely touches communicate warmth, safety, and love to you.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HCJqfrg5a1k
REAL LIFE:
Personal: My LL’s are equal PRESENCE and AFFECTION.
I cannot imagine a better way to Celebrate Life!
REALLY *HERE* – with You!

Also, my presence, and time, *is* my gift – my Life, an Act of Service.

(“Gifts” and “Words” do not *transmit* Love to me. However, I am aware that people are Loving me in their own way, so I embrace it all – hu am I to be the dam in Love’s River? I Love to communicate in ANY language I can discover, at all.)

I was once in a relationship (? <~ monoship?) with a Beast.
He was extremely verbally abusive, a bully, and a stoner (Absence is a killer for a person of Presence… running away, being distracted, out of it, non-communicative – are all offensive to Presence).

Luckily for me, his “words” did not scar me, because that is my non-Love Language.
Just the repelling nature of his character was enough.
His next girlfriend was not so lucky, with her Loving Words…
he also added violence to that mix, and his very existence offended me. (on a side note, in his ugliness, I saw my beauty, and I got a first-hand look at just how bad the human condition was upon the Earth.)

As a person of Affection, things like rape, violence, and physical abuse are devastating, and practically unforgivable.
Even coldness, hurts.
Anything harsh on the sensory being.

-we are all so delicate in Love.

For a person of words, and gifts, nasty words, meanness,  and the ‘taking back of gifts’, or  taking of material possessions hurts (hmm… now I know why my Mum was always harping on about that camera incident… her main language is “Gifts”).

Family:
I’d be talking to my Mum, and she’d be writing a thesis, or something. Distracted (according to me), and keeps asking me to do the dishes – for my Mum, Service, and Gifts are her language; she’d be giving me a million cute things I don’t want, that I’d keep just because she gave them to me, and they emanated with her Love -but I just want conversation and hugs!

Eventually when I saw the way that we Expressed Love, differently, existence became clear!

In true fashion to a person of Service, making more work for her – existing; having dinner, using a plate, or -yeah, just existing, was like, really annoying for her!

My sister, on the other hand, is like Words, Gifts, and Service. Can’t stand hugging. It was a bit shit for me to grow up with people that don’t speak my language, but hey – we Live.

As I’m sure it was shit for them to just have me “hanging around” with my presence, when they are hungry for precious, thoughtful words, or personalised, meaningful gifts and service.

*~ Here I am! ~* I’d say with bated, open arms…

Lol – families.

(on a side note, in the same degree of Virgo, is my Saturn, sister’s Mercury, Mum’s Moon, and Dad’s Sun. As soon as I learned that, I was like: what an awfully harsh, cold, constrictive child I must have felt to my Mum’s soft Moon.
And my sister must have felt her freedom of expression extremely silenced by the patriarchal rule of my Saturn. I had to learn to speak softer to them.
Dad, on the other hand, found me to be more of a Teacher to him.)

Family dynamics are fascinating.
Please share your stories, below, if you feel like it – you know how I Love “Quality Time”!

*~ Service is the Highest Act of Love ~*
*~ Service is the Highest Act of Love ~*
*~ Service is the Highest Act of Love ~*

It is Transcendent.
To Serve from Love – not slavery.

– In my case, it’s more of a “give you what you need – not what you want”; I’m transformational, that way 😉
I’m not afraid of a little Tuff Love.

Take your own Love for a test-drive, here:
(the quiz is kind of… inefficient, but hey – who doesn’t Love a quiz!?)
http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/

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4 responses

  1. Doing stuff from the phone is, well – exciting! But claustrophobic; want to add this in, later: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HCJqfrg5a1k

    March 2, 2015 at 4:02 am

  2. bsneddon51

    Thank you. That resonates for me in a few areas. Reading it I am cast back over my life, and a few key relationships, instances, rituals, and feelings where I may not have seen other aspects of the whole picture yet attached myself to an emotional response anyway.

    It’s interesting to remember those key events and relationships in our lives that are either formative or resonate the most with who we are. Understanding this it makes it a little easier for me in many instances to forgive those who I felt let down by or whom I let down.

    March 7, 2015 at 6:00 am

    • Thanks for sharing, B51. 🙂

      It totally helps with the bigger picture, doesn’t it.

      March 17, 2015 at 2:53 pm

      • bsneddon51

        You bet it does. That bigger picture keeps evolving and our karmic background breathes in and out; expanding and contracting.

        March 17, 2015 at 5:24 pm

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